All About Me

Oh!!! I feel like I am like an orange… being squeezed very very hard to get the juice… Tonnes of reports… even more than before… Well… it kinda like I did the report… then have to revise and redo a couple of times…. OMG!!! This is just ……

For these past few days… I haven’t been enjoying my lunch… I am in the office while others went out for lunch… I just don’t feel like going out… Too much reports… Feel bad for the new girl too… She is supposed to take over my projects… but since I have to do the reports… which are urgent… then I can’t really focus on "teaching" her…. Well… the worst part is I just took over these projects a month ago… I am also in the "blur" mode… So I don’t know where to start to tell her… OMG!!!….

Tomorrow is our National Day!!! Public Holiday!!! Hooray!!! I seem happy with this opening… But actually this morning I feel so extremely down… This sucks…!!!…

Piles of reports… Although I already handed up my resignation letter… but still have to do the reports… Month end = Tonnes and piles of reports… Hate reports… Coz the figures are not real anyway… We have to come up ways to cheat and lie… (that’s the truth)… To make the reports look beautiful and nice… Just think of this makes me feel sick… Is this the way we have to go through all those hard works during study time… Study all the way until getting a "paper" or more "papers" then we come out to be a better "liar"….???????….

What a great start today…

Although I am late for work this morning, 12 minutes late, but still I am so happy… Why…???… I am okay, don’t worry… Ha ha ha… Coz my colleague called up and said, " Hi! Morning! Buy you breakfast already!" Ohhh… so happy and touched… Fried meehoon with egg and luncheon meat… What a great kick start… Even though I still have tonnes of works waiting to be finished, but it doesn’t affect my happy feelings… Ooh… couldn’t bear to leave all my nice, nice and great, great colleagues…

Ooh… August.. still left one week… (Less than one week… actually)… Everyone seems not acting okay lately… Why…???… The main reason should be "money not enough"… Whatmore is that the salary of a planner is not as good as others in the company… adjustment of salary is bad too… Others increased twice already… Once they are confirmed… second is the annual appraisal… But why only us couldn’t get a single penny when we are confirmed…???… Well all this does not matter to me anymore… Coz I’ve made up my mind to leave… But others seems getting more and more emotionally unstable… Too bad… Morale of our team is getting lower and lower… People really come and go in this company very fast… And yet the company doesn’t seems like doing anything at all to tackle this "problem"…

Well… now it seems like most of us are trying to find alternatives to get more income… But getting another job is just not the ultimate way of getting out of the "mouse trap"…We must think of ways which can bring us passive income instead of active income… Income which can be generated by itself… Money earns money… Yep… that’s the way of most the rich does… Any of u have any ideas???… Hmmm… this is easy to say but hard to do…

Yup… After being happy for my lunch time yesterday… then my feeling totally dropped to the lowest… I felt so helpless… wanna slam and bang and crash my pc… Reports need to be finished and yet my pc “hang”… I felt like killing myself together with the pc… Then I ended up going home at 7pm… (At last…) But the bad luck wasn’t over… I think it’s becaus of the heavy storm… One lorry broke down just in front of the traffic light outside my office… Damn… I was stuck in the jam (at that time not knowing what happen)… I was like cursing in my car… My emotion was not stable at all… Cursing and cursing and at last crying also in the car… But thanks god coz I have 98.8 (my favourite radio station)…. So I still arrived home sound and safe…
This morning also my emotion is unstable too… Hope I can get through it quickly…. OK… Gotta go now… GAMBATTE!!!

Well actually this morning is quite down coz not enough sleep… The moment I woke up… I have this very first thought that I wanna take MC and stay at home sleeping… Not wanting to go to work… But still I manage to get hold of myself and get up… And drive to work…

Then… at office… I am so regret that I didn’t stay at home… Coz when I check my mail, there is this email sent yesterday (after working hour) to me, wanting me to submit a report by today 2pm. (Less than 24 hours T_T)… What to do… I am at the office already and I have to do it… It really sucks… I only have slight idea of what I am doing and going to do (for the report of coz)… Coz I just took over to take care of this model… (and the models that I took over are sh*t… why I say so… everyday sure have problems or issues… No wonder my colleague volunteer to transfer to other project)…

However, I feel better and cheer up now… Finished the report… pass up to my senior for checking… hopefully no need to change anything… coz always need to change after submitting… Never ending… It seems like we are someone’s toy… Nevermind now… I resigned… Ha ha ha ha ha… Leaving this @#$%^&*! place…

And now is lunch time… why am I still at the office, not going out for lunch?… Ooohhh…. coz one of the engineer… after seeing my nail art done by my colleague… he thought he would like to give it a try to have his nail painted… Ooooohhhh… never thought he is so "in"… Ha ha ha… then we (3 of us) stay at office… and get his nail painted… Real cool… He have both his thumb painted in blue and with "diamonds"… really cool indeed… it might become a trend here… Ha ha ha ha ha ha…. I think I am getting out of control and out of my mind soon…. Better stop here… 

The only thing that isn’t changing is changing… Yep… We need to change to move on… to adapt to the new environment… Wow… why suddenly become so deep???

Well maybe because recently there is big change in my life… yep… getting married… hmmm… happy… although a bit tired… but still happy… and also my wedding photo is pretty… ha.. at least that is what I think… Every bride is pretty and beautiful…

Another big change is that at last I submitted my resignation letter… Yes… resignation letter submitted last Monday… Will move on to my new job next month… Don’t ask why I wanna leave… Coz my superior already keep asking why why why… When I submitted the letter… I was being questioned for two hours… god… Two whole hours answering the same question… why? why wanna leave? No big deal… Just don’t feel right… Feel like wanna leave and change to another working environment… That’s it…

Looking forward to my new life… Gambatte ne!!!

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Wow… Being down for two weeks… Not only emotionally down but physically too… Hospitalized for 2 days… Man… Lying down in bed… especially in hospital really sucks… Bored… and expensive… Doctor said everything seems fine and no tumor… no nothing in my brain after I did my CT Brain Scan… So he said… yup… must be migraine… So he told me to rest more… be happy… don’t get stressed too much… So I took MC and didn’t go to work for 2 weeks… Hmm… staying at home and not going to work especially work at my place is really good… I don’t miss the work though… But I do miss my colleagues… Felt happy and touch when I was down at home… my colleagues remembered me and called me up… I am so glad that I meet these nice ppl… I will miss you all if I leave this company or if you leave… Oh… and Christ asked me must put his name here… So Christ!!! Thanks for calling.